I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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