weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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