As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
