I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
