just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
