where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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