38 yer olds are good kisserssss
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
