Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
