My brain says no but my pants say off.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
