Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Four minutes until I can fart!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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