Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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