i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
