i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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