So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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