I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
