You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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