i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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