Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
