3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
