Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
