So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
