So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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