Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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