Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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