Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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