do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Randomize
