did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
