Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
