she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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