i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize