Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial

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(480): I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial http://tfl.nu/135m

Replies (7) Good night (1287) Bad night (904)
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(716): View more from New York

Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.

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(716): Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it. http://tfl.nu/yc12

Replies (22) Good night (2544) Bad night (1820)
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(925): View more from California

after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.

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(925): after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool. http://tfl.nu/mdau

Replies (13) Good night (4414) Bad night (897)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind

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(803): I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind http://tfl.nu/dnl0

Replies (11) Good night (3709) Bad night (783)
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(301): View more from Maryland

It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form

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(301): It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form http://tfl.nu/mrkk

Replies (6) Good night (4398) Bad night (991)
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(044): View more from

I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.

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(044): I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks. http://tfl.nu/8eb6

Replies (8) Good night (1583) Bad night (1256)
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(310): View more from California

When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.

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(310): When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing. http://tfl.nu/i23j

Replies (16) Good night (2980) Bad night (946)
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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.

(904): View more from Florida

Yeah he's good at that.

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(407): I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts. (904): Yeah he's good at that. http://tfl.nu/ekc4

Replies (5) Good night (706) Bad night (1423)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy

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(989): I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy http://tfl.nu/as9c

Replies (5) Good night (2367) Bad night (468)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.

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(301): Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level. http://tfl.nu/wvpb

Replies (3) Good night (1004) Bad night (491)
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(248): View more from Michigan

How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?

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(248): How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break? http://tfl.nu/c6en

Replies (1) Good night (701) Bad night (362)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.

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(573): Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex. http://tfl.nu/smrh

Replies (13) Good night (1602) Bad night (591)
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(801): View more from Utah

I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.

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(801): I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass. http://tfl.nu/21od

Replies (6) Good night (520) Bad night (227)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."

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(402): It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head." http://tfl.nu/sgl1

Replies (8) Good night (617) Bad night (238)
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(516): View more from New York

He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex

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(516): He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex http://tfl.nu/i1iv

Replies (2) Good night (480) Bad night (148)

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