It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.