Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded

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  (586): Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded http://tfl.nu/ytab
  Replies (8) Good night (713) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up

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  (212): btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up http://tfl.nu/jzw8
  Replies (30) Good night (1185) Bad night (4917)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Only if they know about it too.

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  (780): Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room? (1-780): Only if they know about it too. http://tfl.nu/fxqr
  Replies (42) Good night (3297) Bad night (885)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.

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  (214): I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me. http://tfl.nu/aut7
  Replies (15) Good night (995) Bad night (3390)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.

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  (951): There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS. http://tfl.nu/ppbc
  Replies (63) Good night (6822) Bad night (782)
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  (846): View more from

  he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.

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  (846): he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand. http://tfl.nu/15lw
  Replies (14) Good night (1673) Bad night (5203)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"

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  (845): Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!" http://tfl.nu/ndk1
  Replies (4) Good night (5006) Bad night (813)
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  (442): View more from California

  While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.

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  (442): While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage. http://tfl.nu/yi73
  Replies (74) Good night (1443) Bad night (5433)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.

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  (850): I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here. http://tfl.nu/dms5
  Replies (7) Good night (955) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.

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  (512): I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out. http://tfl.nu/qokz
  Replies (4) Good night (898) Bad night (651)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing

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  (218): My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing http://tfl.nu/4jwd
  Replies (0) Good night (470) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.

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  (303): No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities. http://tfl.nu/n27f
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  He left his cock-ring in my truck.

  (305): View more from Florida

  Consider it a gay sex souvenir.

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  (954): He left his cock-ring in my truck. (305): Consider it a gay sex souvenir. http://tfl.nu/filc
  Replies (5) Good night (542) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.

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  (403): I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that. http://tfl.nu/4xpt
  Replies (0) Good night (603) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.

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  (310): one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat. http://tfl.nu/07jo
  Replies (0) Good night (724) Bad night (186)

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