he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize