Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
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Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
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You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.