WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!