Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to