Texts From Last Night

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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.

  (1-620): View more from Kansas

  No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.

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  (620): Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night. (1-620): No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man. http://tfl.nu/p24k
  Replies (9) Good night (1596) Bad night (662)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him

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  (541): he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him http://tfl.nu/38fg
  Replies (6) Good night (4365) Bad night (1153)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me

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  (713): Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me http://tfl.nu/9ft0
  Replies (4) Good night (880) Bad night (1829)
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  (714): View more from California

  Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon

  (310): View more from California

  Fuck you.

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  (714): Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon (310): Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/u7vm
  Replies (6) Good night (2245) Bad night (659)
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  (914): View more from New York

  probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.

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  (914): probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate. http://tfl.nu/x46r
  Replies (10) Good night (523) Bad night (1419)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"

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  (716): I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!" http://tfl.nu/0j2g
  Replies (16) Good night (1656) Bad night (608)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.

  (254): View more from Texas

  It's 2 pm....

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  (940): I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas. (254): It's 2 pm.... http://tfl.nu/onth
  Replies (3) Good night (1967) Bad night (547)
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  (914): View more from New York

  THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED

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  (914): THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED http://tfl.nu/eqdp
  Replies (6) Good night (1710) Bad night (466)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this

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  (703): I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this http://tfl.nu/f56c
  Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (644)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.

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  (250): Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me. http://tfl.nu/kle9
  Replies (3) Good night (574) Bad night (917)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.

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  (250): Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/75a5
  Replies (0) Good night (801) Bad night (435)
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  (914): View more from New York

  this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.

  (845): View more from New York

  you are a goddess

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  (914): this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment. (845): you are a goddess http://tfl.nu/5u6j
  Replies (1) Good night (871) Bad night (311)
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  (408): View more from California

  I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.

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  (408): I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories. http://tfl.nu/8r9f
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (263)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.

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  (989): I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up. http://tfl.nu/fpvp
  Replies (0) Good night (271) Bad night (223)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.

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  (301): Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays. http://tfl.nu/1ko0
  Replies (1) Good night (274) Bad night (228)

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