Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
