I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
