Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize