i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
