I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
