you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
