When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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