So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
