You made me cry and you don't even care
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
