i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
