We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
