It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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