quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
