What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
