Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I forget how to act sober
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
