His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
