yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
