singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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