The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
