Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Are we still banned from the library?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
