i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
