We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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