I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
