The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize