u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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