About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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