I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize