ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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