He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
