the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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