so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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