I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize